ALPHA Stryker by GEN.PATTON

Meet the ALPHA Stryker. Under the hood now is a CAT 3512C industrial engine belting out a completely reasonable 2,500 horsepower. Fuel economy is now measured in gallons per second, and nearby birds file noise complaints. The 30mm variant now dispenses freedom at 450 rounds per minute with a casual 3,000-round ammo supply. Barrel life has been reclassified as a consumable. Think that's excessive? The 105mm variant now cycles at 48 rounds per minute while hauling 600 rounds. Logistics officers have resigned, and artillery crews are asking for your autograph. Stopping all this bad decision-making are carbon ceramic brakes, because when you're hauling several tons of poor choices at highway speeds, stock brakes become a polite suggestion. The suspension? We raided the local junkyard and "strategically transfer equipment to an alternate location" some Magnetic Ride shocks from a few Corvettes. The ride is surprisingly smooth right up until you hit a berm at 60 mph and discover you're briefly an aircraft. Features: 2,500 HP CAT 3512C industrial engine. 30mm autocannon: 450 RPM, 3,000 rounds. 105mm cannon: 48 RPM, 600 rounds. Carbon ceramic brakes for "oh no" moments. Corvette Mag Ride suspension because race car. Fuel consumption: What Fuel. Reliability: Questionable. Rolling up and seeing the fear in your enemy's eyes: Priceless. Disclaimer: No engineers, or laws of thermodynamics were consulted during the creation of this vehicle. Use responsibly. Or don't we clearly didn't.